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Friday, June 15, 2007

Male Insecurity and Jealousy

So, you finally got the girl of your dreams. She's fine-looking and sexy. She's definitely a catch! Every time you go out, other guys are checking her out. So, you hold her closer, have a protective arm around her, and cast steely "Don't you mess with my girlfriend" stares at the other guys. You closely watch her every move and feel a pang of jealousy and insecurity, even at times when it is not the least bit warranted. You constantly call her up to check up on her or count the seconds before she answers your call. You've been too paranoid too many times whenever she says she's out with her girl friends or co-workers, or if she's meeting up with a high school sweetheart or an ex-flame. You instantly erupt in jealous rage at the mention of past loves.


You feel trapped by your insecurity and direct your energy to over protectiveness and jealousy instead. So, you try to buy her time and attention by overwhelming her with the prettiest flowers, wonderful gifts, expensive dinners, and luxurious holidays. You want to control and have the upper hand in the relationship. You utilize the possess-and-isolate tactic on her. You always make excuses for her to be always with you, or to be available at your beck and call. Her girl friends are exasperated with you and upset at how possessive you are.


So where does all this insecurity and jealousy spring from? You may have bad experiences before regarding relationships and loyalty, and you ensure that it doesn't ever happen again. In turn, you intensely guarantee that you are the sole object of her desire.


Male insecurity has also been known to directly correlate with a deficiency in the size of the male member. Many men are bothered that they are not big enough or they're not gonna please their ladies with their current size. This probably explains the thriving and often lucrative business that is penis enlargement.


Another reason may be about money or resources. Many guys feel disdain, oftentimes envy, towards other men who are better off than themselves. With more money, you could probably spend lavish gifts for your girl; and with more presents, you think you make yourself highly desirable and attractive.


Men, just like women, also need to be liked. They want to be respected, adored, and esteemed. They want to be feel important and special to someone. They want to be loved and needed.


So, how would you rein in your insecurity and keep your jealousy in check? Take time to do a self-assessment. Improve your looks and learn new things. Go to the gym, join sports club, or enroll in short courses like foreign languages, arts, or even acting. More importantly, is the measure of trust and loyalty that you and your girl have for each other. Don't let your insecurities cloud your judgment and ruin your relationships. Treat her with respect as much as you would want her to do the same for you.